
Elizabeth Jennings' poem "Father to Son" delves into the complex dynamics of a father-son relationship, marked by unexpressed love and a significant communication breakdown. It narrates the father's struggle to understand his son and his deep desire for reconciliation, reflecting a common challenge in family relationships where affection often remains unspoken.
Here is a Line-by-Line Analysis of the Father to Son Poem:
The poem begins with the father's deep sense of alienation from his son.
"I do not understand this child / though we have lived together now / in the same house for years." The father admits his inability to comprehend his son, despite their shared living space for many years, immediately establishing emotional distance.
"I know nothing of him" This is a crucial confession. The father feels entirely unaware of his son's personality, choices, passions, and dreams. Despite this, his primary goal is to build a good relationship.
"Yet have I killed the seed / I spent or sown it where?" The father blames himself for their fractured bond, questioning if he destroyed the relationship. The seed metaphorically refers to the child (his son). He feels he is reaping the consequences of his past actions or inactions.
"The land is his and none of mine" This signifies that the son's mind, thoughts, and world are now entirely his own. The father feels no influence or shared perspective; his son lives by his own principles.
This stanza further explores the depth of their disconnect.
"We speak like strangers, there’s no sign / Of understanding in the air." Their conversations are superficial, like those between strangers, indicating a complete lack of mutual understanding. The phrase "speak like strangers" is identified as a Simile.
"This child is built to my design / Yet what he loves I cannot share." The father acknowledges the physical resemblance—the son is "built to his design"—but laments his inability to connect with or share his son's passions and joys. There is a physical connection but an emotional and intellectual void.
This stanza reveals the father's profound longing for his son's return.
"Silence surrounds us." Their relationship is dominated by a heavy silence, pointing to a total breakdown in communication.
"I would have him prodigal, returning to / His father’s house" The father wishes his son would return home, even if he were to come back as a prodigal (a person who spends money wastefully). The father prefers any connection, even a demanding one, over the current silence, desiring his son to return to their home rather than build a separate life.
"I would forgive him too, shaping from sorrow / A new love." The father explicitly states his readiness to forgive his son for the pain caused. He wishes to move past the grief and build a new, loving relationship, desiring that they live together.
For the first time in the poem, the son speaks, revealing that the feeling of helplessness is mutual.
"Father and son, we both must live / On the same globe and the same land. / He speaks: I cannot understand / Myself, why anger grows from grief." The son is also confused and pained, not understanding why his initial sadness (grief) has transformed into anger. He also wants to fix the relationship but does not know how.
"We each put out an empty hand / Longing for something to forgive." This final image is critical, showing that both father and son have been silently reaching out to each other. Their "empty hands" signify a mutual, unspoken desire for reconciliation. Both are desperate to forgive and be forgiven, wishing to move past the past and start fresh.
The poem's theme is fairly universal, not an exclusively personal experience. The complaint, anger, and communication gap between father and son are common in many households. This conflict often arises from a generation gap and a lack of understanding. The older generation, with greater life experience, often tries to guide, while the younger generation may rebel. This can lead to misunderstandings that resolve only with time and maturity, making the poem a universal story of generational disconnect.
The father's helplessness is a central theme, evident in several ways:
His relationship with his son has "turned sour" despite them living in the same house.
Although he provided his son's upbringing, he knows nothing of his son's current dreams or passions because the son no longer shares anything with him.
The son now has his own independent mind and way of living.
The father is trapped, unable to force reconciliation or completely break ties. He simply longs for a compromise but receives no response, leaving him in a state of passive sorrow.
The following lines from the poem are direct indicators of the emotional distance and communication gap:
"I do not understand this child."
"I know nothing of him."
"We speak like strangers."
"What he loves I cannot share."
"Silence surrounds us."
These phrases collectively paint a picture of a relationship where, despite physical proximity, there is a profound lack of connection and understanding.
Yes, the poem has a consistent rhyme scheme. Analyzing the end words of the lines demonstrates this:
Stanza 1:
child (A)
now (B)
know (B)
build (A)
how (B)
killed (A)
Resulting Rhyme Scheme: A B B A B A
Stanza 2:
share (A)
mine (B)
sign (B)
air (A)
design (B)
share (A)
Resulting Rhyme Scheme: A B B A B A
Since both stanzas follow the same pattern, the rhyme scheme is indeed consistent throughout the poem.